I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
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I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
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When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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