Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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