hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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