She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
