I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
