i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
