I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
