It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
