the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
