Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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