I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
