im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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