She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
