Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
