Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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