My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
