And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
