Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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