I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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