You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the day after is always just damage control
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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