i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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