She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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