dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize