Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
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I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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