so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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