just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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