Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
