He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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