One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can't turn off my feet"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
