Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
