Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
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My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
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As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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