How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
