tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
