Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
