yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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