We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
