Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
