Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
