areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
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