wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
