If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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