Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
