I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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