There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
