Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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