just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
