you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
