I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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