he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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