Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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