Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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