Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
