Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
