The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
