At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
