The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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