just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize