I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize